Kids & Quarantine
What a crazy time! That is what I keep saying that to friends and neighbors. We can’t get close enough to say much more and what else is there to say. There is a 50/50 of, when else would we all get to spend this much time together so let’s cherish it and I just really want to go to TJ Maxx. I have reorganized everything there is to organize and decorated my bathtub… I didn’t even know that you could. Thanks Pinterest.
Every day I have a lot to do with work and I am trying to find things to preoccupy my 5 and 3 year-old. Not to mention trying to Zoom in their preschool classes which let’s be honest is not my number one priority. I am not used to be home this much or being with them this much. When I read that sentence it makes me a little sad, but I am also proud to show them the importance of working hard especially when your job is to creatively show people Jesus. I want them to see the reward of hard work and a Mommy that loves others. BUT I want them to see even more my eyes looking back at them, not my computer screen. My day is filled with work and play but being home this much also means a lot of opportunities for correction. I reminded myself yesterday that even more than correction or discipline, I need to encourage and praise them when they do well.
Layla has filled up her Kindness jar twice in this season. Layla has a desire to obey and please, so the pom poms fill up the jar very quickly. My Livy love however has not filled up her jar. She is full of spunk and all about the fun. Livy wants to obey and tell the truth but sometimes her little desires get in the way of that. We try to give her a lot of opportunity to get a pom pom or 5 (haha) so she can catch up. She is 3 and has a lot of emotion that comes out through fit throwing. We have four rules that will get you in trouble:
1. We always tell the truth.
2. We obey the first time.
3. We have a good attitude.
4. We are always respectful.
Now being home all day every day, I get to handle every situation and the other day we had a “situation”. Livy lied about asking her Daddy to put tape all over the table. When I say all over I mean… used the whole roll… all over. The issue is not that she used the tape, it’s that she lied about asking Daddy if she could. When I put her in timeout she was kicking and screaming. She couldn’t even sit down she was so upset. She took off up the stairs and I told her if she did it again, she would have to get a spanking. I already had given her mercy when she didn’t follow rule #1 by doing timeout. We use spankings as a last resort. She did it again (Rule #2), so she got a spanking and then another chance to finish out her timeout. She finally sat while screaming as I tried to tell her if she would stay calm, she would get to come out of time out and we could talk. It took her about half a second to stop which shows how quick they can choose to switch it on or switch it off. When I walked over to her and put her in my arms she started crying. I asked her why she was in time out and she told me. Then like I always do, began speaking into who I know she is. I told her, “Baby I know you are a truth teller and that you want to obey. You are Mommy’s amazing girl and I am so proud of who you are. I love you so much and that is why we have to go in time out or get spankings. There are always consequences when we don’t follow the rules set in place for us and if we would do the right thing then there would not be any consequences. We are going to have a fun day so let’s hug and go play. Can you say, ‘Thank you for correcting me and helping me be better?’”
When I was young my parents taught us to say, “Thank you for correcting me and helping me be better.” When I got older, I remember hating it, but it did something in my heart that is hard to explain. Saying it out loud shifted something that made me grateful and better able to move forward. Livy already knows to say it and both my girls do every time they are corrected. So, here are my main correction tips:
1. Have clear rules that your kids can recite back to you, so they always know how to do the right thing.
2. Say your rules in a positive way
- NOT “We don’t lie.” BUT “We always tell the truth.”
3. Stay as calm as you can when correcting or disciplining your kids. They need to see you with a level head. How can you expect them to keep their cool if you don’t keep yours?
4. Make sure they know why they are getting disciplined.
5. End every discipline with praise and who you know they are.
We got this Mom’s. Whether you work, or are a stay-at-home Mom, this season is not easy, but we can let it make us better and turn it into a win!
I have included a video of Livy’s fit on my instagram and how I TRIED to handle it. I am not perfect and wasn’t even planning on sharing it but I hope it helps you to either feel better about how you parent or helps you with your next tantrum. Click Here to Watch
- Whitney Jones
